Cynthia K - Hardcore Sin

Posted by: Cynthia K

Nov 25, 2005

I wanted to thank everyone for the positive response to my previous contribution. Lately I've been trying my hardest to distract myself from all these thoughts I'm having. Sometimes it feels like the less sexual my life is, the more I'm reminded of all that I'm missing! I hate that. LOL. I thought I'd get along by focusing on University and my studies for a bit, and I was doing alright. So who do I blame? Brandon, the boy I was seeing who is in all of those sex videos with me on my website. Even before he called me a few weeks back, I couldn't ignore the impact he had on me sexually. It's like he obliterated any limits I thought I had, awakening this insatiably deviant part of my brain! I'm embarrassed to admit that part of me exists, but I should be ashamed at how much I enjoyed giving in to it with him! That being said, I was excited when he called because we hadn’t spoken in ages. He was very forward on the phone and it excited me to the point where I almost couldn't hide it. I even started blushing at how worked up I was getting. But I started to feel embarrassed when he brought up those videos and made mention that his favorite was the one where I let him have anal sex with me. If that weren't enough, he added that he was watching it off of my site as we spoke. Instinctively I felt awkward that he was talking to me while watching himself just use my bottom and pound into me. But it wasn't long before this subtle started to turn me on. Needless to say, I was caught off guard by how much I liked this mix of emotions--I felt embarrassed, dirty, sinful, and free. It was like I caught a glimpse of deviance that was both enticing and intimidating, and now I feel like SUCH a dork for not responding to him with more encouragement. In fact, I still haven't heard back from him and I'm not sure what to do. My flatmate suggests that I email him a link to this contribution, along with the first installment of photos I sent in earlier. As she puts it, my day-to-day behavior doesn’t suggest that I’m “a dirty girl looking to get my fuck on,” so it might not hurt to tip him off. I know I'm a TOTAL dork with my issues and all, but I'm just not sure if that's something I'm ready to admit! Maybe that’s what I’ll be this year for Halloween! LOL.