Cynthia K - Reflections Of A Dork

Posted by: Cynthia K

Mar 27, 2006

Cynthia K - Reflections Of A Dork - It's a cruel twist of irony, but I've been quarantined for the last two months with mono. I've never felt so fatigued, and I'm sad to say that I did not catch what is thought of as the "kissing disease" through its most popular means of transmission! LOL. Now that I'm healthy, I feel an intense need to get out and live a little! I've watched enough Oprah and reruns of Degrassi to last me a lifetime--plus my flatmate suspects I've been struck by dementia, after learning that I knew all the words to "High School Musical." LOL. With any luck, I'll manage a few credits at University, but I've already missed most of the semester. What I am most nervous about is Brandon, the boy I was seeing last year who is in all of those sex videos with me on my website. After spending so much time in bed, I am fixated on my deviant recollections of how he awakened this insatiable part of me. The last time we spoke, he was teasing me about watching those videos on my site where I let him have anal sex with me--and I'm seriously thankful that "blushing to death" isn't possible! I was on bed rest by the time he returned from the holidays, and now I feel awkward getting in touch with him after I dropped off the planet for so long! I feel like SUCH a dork, but I'm afraid he thinks that I chickened out, or that I'm embarrassed by how intense the sex was. Needless to say, I am REALLY embarrassed by the things I let him to do me, but--as much as I am ashamed to admit it--that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it. LOL. I was trying to get motivated by going through all the photos I took last year--I thought it would be fun to send in this mix of both the best AND the worst--and I was talking with my flatmate about Brandon. She suggests that I just go over to his place and initiate sex without giving any explanation for where I've been. As she puts it, I'm far too shy to let a boy know that I'm "looking to get my fuck on," so it might just be easier to take the initiative and "make the magic happen" for myself. :)